I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
