end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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