There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
