I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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