He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
