Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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