I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
