I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
