i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
