My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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