He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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