Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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