i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
