I'm jealous of your bromance
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
