Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
