I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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