yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
