Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize