a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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