Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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