Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
