i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
