u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize