i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
