My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
