i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
