i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize