Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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