i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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