if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize