laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
