i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
