I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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