i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
