rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm at about main and main street
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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