My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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