And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
