im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
should my penis look like a turkey
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
