I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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