whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
