He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
