You're completely useless in the revolution.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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