I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
