i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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