It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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