it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
