That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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