one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
