omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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