how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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