And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
