What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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