Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize