We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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