You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
