ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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