I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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