He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You ruined the universe
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
