drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
